Jul, 28 2025
If you’ve ever woken up hoping today will be the day your body stops throbbing, stinging, or aching—and then realized the pain is still there—you know the unique mental weight that chronic pain brings. It’s not just about what hurts; it’s about how it twists your world. Simple tasks stretch into marathons, sleep becomes a stranger, and your mind runs in circles asking, Is life really worth living like this? That question is the dark side of chronic pain, and no brochure or pain scale prepares you for it. But staring directly at the discomfort, let’s talk honestly: What makes life worth living when you hurt all the damn time?
What Does Chronic Pain Do To Your Life?
Living with chronic pain is like carrying an invisible backpack filled with bricks. It changes your routines, your relationships, and how you see yourself. The numbers back it up: around 20% of adults worldwide deal with chronic pain that lasts more than three months, according to a 2023 WHO report. That’s one in five people—so if you’re in pain, you’re not as alone as you might think. Here in New Zealand, the Ministry of Health estimates that one in four Kiwis struggles with ongoing pain. It’s not always obvious on the outside, so many people feel like no one gets it.
Imagine trying to keep your job or enjoy a family barbecue when every step, every movement, is a reminder of what used to feel normal. People often feel like a burden, or get frustrated when others say things like, “But you don’t look sick!”—a phrase almost every chronic pain warrior hears at some point. Sleep takes a hit, too. Insomnia often tags along with chronic pain, making it harder to keep your energy up and mood steady. There’s a real link between chronic pain and depression or anxiety. In fact, a 2022 Lancet study found that people living with ongoing pain are four times as likely to develop a mood disorder. Pain isn’t just a body thing; it digs its claws into your mind.
Everything gets filtered through the pain—waking up, going to work, being social, even planning a holiday. People often report losing their hobbies, pulling back from friends, and feeling like life is just a grind. The impact shows up in the stats, too: In New Zealand, chronic pain is the second biggest cause of long-term disability. Little annoyances turn into mountains. A trip to the shops could mean two days in bed recovering. It’s not just a matter of gritting your teeth and pushing through; your daily choices all get measured against the pain’s price tag.
Here’s a table showing how chronic pain affects daily life, based on a survey of Kiwi pain sufferers:
| Life Area | % Reporting Major Impact |
|---|---|
| Sleep | 78% |
| Work productivity | 65% |
| Mental health | 62% |
| Social life | 54% |
| Physical activity | 81% |
The numbers are stark, but they don’t capture the whole story. Each day with pain stretches your patience and tests your grit. But people are adaptable—even when they don’t feel like it. Some find surprising ways to carve out moments of joy or meaning, however small. It’s rarely easy, and it always comes with days when the darkness wins. But people keep searching for reasons to hang on, and sometimes that search is where life starts to feel worth living again.
Is it Normal To Question If Life Is Worth Living?
If you’ve sat alone and wondered if you can really keep going like this, you’re far from alone. Chronic pain is a massive trigger for these thoughts. The question—Is life worth living?—shows up in doctors’ offices across the world. It’s totally normal to have dark days, to grieve your old self, and to be angry at the randomness of it all. Some people feel guilty for having those thoughts, but pushing them down just makes things heavier. It’s better to acknowledge them, even say them out loud to someone you trust, instead of letting them fester.
There’s a harsh reality at play: Suicide risk jumps in people with chronic pain. A meta-analysis from 2021 found that 25% of people with long-term pain think about suicide, and nearly 10% attempt it. These numbers are scary, but also a reminder—if you feel this way, others have too. There’s zero shame in admitting how tough things are. Mental health support, like talking with a counselor familiar with pain, can honestly be lifesaving. No one deserves to be trapped in silence.
But the question isn’t just about endings; it’s about searching for new beginnings. Sometimes, just asking if life is worth living cracks open a space to explore what might help make it worth it. Some people turn to art, music, or writing to pour their pain somewhere. Others build online communities with people who get what it’s like to sit through a pain flare at 3 a.m. For many, getting professional mental health support is a huge game-changer. Techniques like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) help retrain the brain’s response to pain, offering a little bit of control back to people who feel powerless.
Here are a few signs it’s time to reach out for help:
- You’re thinking about suicide or self-harm, even briefly.
- You’re using alcohol, drugs, or painkillers in unsafe ways.
- You’ve lost all interest in things you used to love, and nothing seems worth the effort.
- Your sleep is so bad it’s impacting your ability to function.
If that rings true, please talk to someone—even if it’s just your GP to start. There are crisis helplines and pain support groups (like New Zealand’s Pain Society and online forums) where you can talk to others who won’t judge. Many people come back from the edge once they get the right support. And you might discover a few tiny sparks still worth chasing.
Ways to Find Meaning—and Joy—When Pain Doesn’t Leave
No sugarcoating: chronic pain can make everything harder, especially finding happiness or meaning. But humans are stubbornly hopeful, even when it feels pointless. Some people stumble into meaning where they least expect it. The psychologist Viktor Frankl, who survived a Nazi camp and wrote “Man’s Search for Meaning,” once said, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” That hits home for pain sufferers; you can’t always beat the pain, but maybe you can change how you experience life around it.
Here’s the thing: don’t start by aiming for the moon—aim for tiny sparks instead. Research from 2022 in the Journal of Pain showed that people with chronic pain who stay involved in just one or two activities that matter to them—reading, gardening, gaming, whatever—have better mental health, less loneliness, and actually report lower pain intensity. It’s not about ignoring the pain; it’s about giving yourself something else to hold on to. Some folks find meaning in looking after a pet, helping a neighbor, or being part of a support group. Others get deep into mindfulness or meditation—the stuff that used to sound a bit woo-woo but genuinely calms the nervous system over time.
If you’re in New Zealand, there are some practical, down-to-earth things you can try. Free online pain management courses (like the Pain Toolkit NZ) can show you how to pace yourself, break tasks into smaller chunks, and plan your energy. Occupational therapists help people adapt their homes, routines, and workstations so the pain doesn’t get the last word. These aren’t magic fixes, but small changes add up over the weeks and months. Tracking your pain and mood in a journal can spot patterns you’d otherwise miss—maybe certain foods, weather, or stress levels make a difference. And the science backs this stuff: A study by Auckland University in 2024 found that regular journaling about pain and feelings helped reduce anxiety in people with chronic pain by 20% over six months.
Some people swear by distraction—movies, puzzles, music, or daily wordle streaks. Others lean into creativity, start a tiny balcony garden, or adopt a rescue cat because stroking soft fur is proven to lower stress. Try not to judge yourself for what brings you relief. That one goofy video game or knitting project could be a lifeline on a bleak day. And it turns out, laughter—silly as it sounds—can literally boost endorphins, according to a 2023 Massey University study that showed a 15% drop in reported pain intensity after watching comedy clips.
If you do one thing, make it to connect with others. Pain isolates, but a text, FaceTime, or even a forum chat helps. New Zealand’s chronic pain support community is surprisingly active online, and plenty of people understand the odd cocktail of dread, boredom, and stubborn hope that chronic pain brings. Some people set up “pain clubs”—virtual check-ins with others who get it. Even reaching out just to tell someone “today is tough” can make a dent in the loneliness.
Here’s a quick roundup of ideas from real New Zealanders with chronic pain:
- Go for a five-minute walk outdoors—even if you can't go far, just being in the sun counts.
- Keep a small notebook of 'tiny wins' (I washed the dishes! I replied to that message!).
- Use noise-cancelling headphones to soak up music, white noise, or audiobooks on bad days.
- Cook something simple with a comforting smell or taste.
- Try out a gentle online yoga or stretching video tailored for pain.
None of this erases pain, but these little stones sometimes build a new path. Life doesn’t have to be big or perfect to be worth it. Sometimes, it just has to be livable—and slowly, on your own terms, it can take on a different kind of meaning.
Tools, Treatments, and Community: Fighting for a Life That’s Worth Living
The search for relief is constant. While there’s no one-size-fits-all cure, there are new tools, treatments, and ways to connect that can make life in chronic pain less punishing. About one in three people with chronic pain find decent relief with traditional meds like gabapentin or amitriptyline. But plenty don’t—so researchers and innovators are exploring other options. For example, New Zealand’s ACC (Accident Compensation Corporation) now covers multidisciplinary pain clinics, where you see a team that includes doctors, physios, psychologists, and occupational therapists. This team approach actually gives better results than just medication alone.
For those open to trying, there’s growing evidence for things like mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR), which teaches the mind to observe pain without letting it set the emotional tone for your day. The Gold Coast Pain Clinic released 2024 data showing MBSR participants reported 30% more days feeling “in control” of their pain, compared to those just using medication. Exercise is another pillar, though it looks different for everyone. Gentle movement—be it walking, pool therapy, tai chi, or even seated stretches—helps release natural painkillers in the body and keeps muscles working. It’s not about running marathons; it’s about fighting off the tightness and surrender that pain tries to impose.
Medical cannabis is legal in New Zealand with prescription and some people find it helpful, especially when standard meds don’t work. There are pros, cons, and some legal hoops, so it’s important to chat with a pain specialist if you’re curious. Nerve stimulation devices (like TENS units) are available at many local pharmacies—they send low-voltage electrical pulses that can block pain signals for some users. And then there’s the world of pacing: learning to break activities down, rest before you hit your limit, and not let guilt force you to push so hard you crash. Pain clinics usually teach pacing as a core tool, and it can open doors to returning to work or hobbies at your own speed.
Don’t underestimate the power of finding a tribe, either. Online forums like Reddit’s r/ChronicPain or New Zealand’s Chronic Pain Support Facebook groups let people share brutal honesty, black humour, and practical hacks. These communities break isolation and offer a space where no explanation is needed. Just having someone say “I believe you” can make the load a little lighter.
Insurance support, while never perfect, is catching up. Some health insurance policies in New Zealand now cover pain psychology, chiropractic care, acupuncture, or massage (always double check your coverage first). A 2023 NZ Health Survey found that people who use a combo of medical care, pain psychology, adaptive exercise, and social connection report the highest quality of life—even if their actual pain doesn’t drop much.
Life with chronic pain isn’t what anyone signs up for, and the question of whether it’s worth living sometimes never fully goes away. But as weird as it sounds, that sharp-edged question can also point to what truly matters most—connection, small joys, a sense of purpose, or just a sliver of hope on a rotten day. If you’re still asking the question, you’re still in the fight. And as long as you’re in, the story isn’t over yet.
